I've been pondering on a lot of things lately. Being a freelance writer for 3 years now hasn't been easy. Sure, there's flexibility in terms of having time for myself. Meeting deadlines is another story altogether. My profession isn't really a regular thing if you ask me. In reality, the word 'jobless' seem inevitable.
Ain't gonna lie, that's been on the back of my head since the day I started getting into it. I always thought to myself: Is there any future for me doing this? Right off the bat, I couldn't think of a good answer to a simple question. Although a lot of people have become very successful as freelancers but that's not always the case for some. Getting a writing gig for a certain publication is like a blessing. It gives you that drive as though you're ready to take on challenge anytime. At the end of the day, you wonder what's next once you've done your job, get payed a month after your stuff is published.
I'm grateful for a lot of things and I feel blessed that I have this gift besides being able to draw comics. The career change wasn't an easy decision to make. As soon as the passion for drawing went down the toilet -- it was time to give up my trusty pencil and go to a different direction. For some reason, I still feel something is missing. Passion per se is something that you're happy of whatever you're doing. As I type this, my optimism in this profession is slowly going down. It's like I'm losing my grip holding on to it. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't gotten any writing gigs for year now or maybe I'm simply losing my focus. You know what? It could be both.
I have to admit I miss drawing comics. A lot of my friends in the comics industry feel bad that I gave up on something that I was really born to do. I feel them on that one. So many rising artists doing indie comics here is just any indication that I'm totally done with it. Their artworks are far superior than what I've drawn in the past. I just can't keep up with the trend. Even if I did try for a come out of retirement I still have a lot of work to do. To be honest, looking the works of young artists today clearly make my artworks look whack -- literally. Despite that, I figured: Yeah, why not give it a try again?
A couple of months ago, my close friend in the industry kept pushing me to start drawing again and co-produce an indie comic for October this year -- I decided to bite the bullet. I wasn't sure it's going to be worth the risk but I wouldn't know if I never gave it a try, right? And so the road to coming out of retirement has begun. I would rather not think too much of it. I'd rather just do my best to have fun with it.
The real problem I have right now is perhaps being financially stable albeit my freelance writing profession. The only solution I could think of is clear -- I need a REAL JOB! A kind of job that would have me earning money on a monthly basis. The thought of getting a regular job at a publishing house is a long shot, in my opinion. I haven't had luck on that one for a while.
A job in the call center industry is an option I'm considering. When I found out I have heart problems back in 2007, that plan is off my book. If I got work there, then I guess that's the only job that would kill me.
Bottom line is, I'ma have to apply for a regular job that doesn't require wearing a business suit, a time for myself (social life to be exact), a good pay and something that wouldn't kill me in 2 months working my @$$ off for a company.
While I'm still in search for a job that would perhaps give me financial stability, I'm stuck being a freelance writer/illustrator for now. I can only hope for the best.
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